Ask A Ho!!

Because I'm an Internet Celebrity many people send me messages asking for help. Its true, I am a celebrity. Anyways, I can't help everybody but I will answer as many questions as I can. Hopefully I will be able to help some hopeless bitch tonight. So lets get started!!

Facebook Question from 'Renee"      
1.  If you were given a box of Gary Coleman's Ashes..... what would you do with them?
  (A) I would INSTANTLY drop to my knees and Thank The GODS!!!! Then I would Piss in the box and throw the contents in the Filthy Face of that Bitch Bishop Eddie Long. I believe in Giving Back to the community.

Facebook Question ((Name withheld due to embarrassment))  
2. Dear Mr. Ho, I went to a Christmas Party and got the shock of my life. The sister of my Dad's girlfriend said she had sex with MY MOM!! Should I ask my mom if she is a lesbian?? What would you do??
  (A)  She couldn't have said no shit like that to me!!! I would have turned that party THE FUCK OUT. (I don't mean dancing either!) Don't nobody wanna hear that shit on Christmas!! Why is she telling you?? She THIRSTY for attention and she Pussy Hungry!! Next Time.... Slap that bitch in the mouth and then say, "Good Luck Eatin Pussy with a busted Lip!! ASSHOLE!!"

Facebook Question from "TheJazzyOne"  
3. Hey Ho!! You got any fashion advice? ((By the way, You have a beautiful soul and you make amazing jewelry))
  (A) Thank You so much for your kind words!!! I do have some fashion advice. I think my friend Lolita (#FashionIcon) would agree, the best accessory you can have is a pair of shoulder pads. Shoulder pads do so much. If you got a big ass, throw on some shoulder pads! People will be to busy looking at yo shoulders to notice your giant ass. I'm wearing Shoulder Pads right now!

Youtube Question from "Sally-Mae" 
4. Hi Ho, I think I might be pregnant..... what's a girl to do??
  (A) Look bitch either YOU IS or YOU AIN'T!! Go get an abortion anyway. Cuz you seem like the kind of girl who would give birth on the toilet and say some crazy shit like "I didn't know I was pregnant!"

Twitter Question from "Susan"
5. I think my son is gay. Men call my home at all hours of the night. Can you help me?
  (A) He either Gay or Selling Dope. Either way, No the Fuck I can't. Uh... have a blessed Day.

    

                            

Text Message Question from "Jennifer"
6. Hi Branden Ho! I love your Blog! So here is the Tea, Some old lady called me a "Bitch" on the bus! What's up with that!?
 (A) Gurl, you is betta than me!! I would have got up and Did The COMPLETE FOOL on that Ass!! Try this next time, "I know I'm a Bitch!! What's yo excuse You Monkey Mouthed CUNT!!!??" 




Text Message Question from "Everybody"
7. I HATE MY JOB!!!
   (A) Sounds like you hate your job. Well, Get the fuck up and walk the fuck out. It is just that simple. I should know I did it 3 times. Each job was better than the last in my case. If you open your mouth and say "I Can't..." then you Won't. So Don't complain. If you are not willing to make a change in your life, Sit back and continue to enjoy the BullShit. People talk shit about "Quitters". I don't because I am a fuckin QUITTER! "Fuck This Shit, I Quit" are words I live by! I will QUIT before I'll enjoy the BullShit!

 Facebook Question form "Desiree"
8. Explain this??

  (A)  To the untrained eye it looks like 2 friends enjoying each others company. Because I can see BullShit from a mile away....... that is Sweet Brown and Antoine Dodson! They THIRSTY Asses!!! Both of them get on TV and Do The Fuckin Fool and now trying to milk every drop outta that 3 minutes of fame! They have set the black community back at least 1000 years with that foolishness!!! I know Sweet brown was high as a fucking kite when she was on the news! Gettin a "Cold Pop" must be code for DOPE!!!



 

Thanks For all the questions guys! If you didn't know the T before, Bitch You Know Now!!